A Thorn in the Flesh

I've had a lot of ups and downs in the last three years and through various pressures of life, some days are filled with simply surviving.  Throughout all these things, God is changing me and I think a new "normal" is developing.  

Lately, in my assessment of some of these life pressures, I was drawn to think about Paul and his thorn in the flesh. Many have speculated on what that thorn could have been but I began to wonder if it could have been a 'being' because Paul describes the thorn as a "messenger of Satan" and it was given to "buffet" him. We all have personalities that make who we are and when we come to faith, our personality does not change. It takes a certain kind of personality to kill people. Paul was a persecutor and murderer before the road to Damascus experience. When he became a believer, he still had the same personality, however, it was now turned toward holiness instead of destruction. I'm sure that his new nature did not dominate his old habits all the time. Thus we have Romans 7 where he explains the struggle he is going through within his own body. When the Bible uses the word "messenger" it is usually talking about a "being" or a person. A messenger of God is always thought to be an angel so wouldn't a "messenger of Satan" be a demon?

This was something God was allowing in Paul to keep him from exalting himself. There are others in Scripture who were given a "messenger of Satan" by God. Then of course, when Paul asked God to take this from him God's reply was, "My grace is sufficient for you for power is perfected in weakness." The weaknesses we all have are given to us by God and many times we live with an expectation that someday we will overcome these weaknesses, however that day may never come. Our weaknesses are, in reality, our greatest strengths therefore, we may continue to struggle with these things continually. I think a "spirit" of depression is my thorn and while I do not have to live in a depressed state, it will always be looming even during a "good" season. If I can look at "Depression" as the name of an outside force that has been given to me by God to keep me on my face before Him, then fighting a good fight of faith takes on a whole new meaning. Rather than viewing self with contempt, Depression can be viewed with contempt and with the armor of God in tact, He will fight the battle and I am free to show myself grace.

If you struggle with depression, on down days, remember God's grace upon you is sufficient and you are allowed to show yourself grace.

"Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."